You can't marry Casey
by detective-jay-rizzoli
Summary: Maura goes to dinner with a friend who makes her realize that she can't keep her feelings from Jane hidden forever. So she goes to tell her. One-shot. Fluffy


_A/N: Hey! Just a fluffy little one-shot I had saved on my laptop. I hope you guys like it! _

In front of me was Kate Anderson, the only person besides Jane I had ever called a friend. We met when I was doing my internship in a local hospital. Kate's boyfriend was brought in with a coma which obviously resulted in Kate spending most of her free time in the hospital. It was a hard time for her and she confided in me about how much she loved him. After that we met for coffee on some occasions until she moved away to New York. The last time I had saw her was on her wedding(with the boyfriend from the hospital), 8 months ago. But now she was visiting Boston for her work and here we were in a small Italian restaurant catching up. Jane was with Casey tonight, so I didn't have to cancel our plans. I was thankful for the distraction and I was honestly happy to see my friend again. We had been talking about her husband, her job and my job.

"So, what about your love life?" Kate asked suddenly. I felt a slight blush creep up my neck.

"I am not involved with anyone at the moment." Kate stared at me for a second with a slightly incredulous look on her face.

"Okay, is that because you're not looking or because you're not finding it?" She asked curiously. I froze. How was I supposed to explain that I just stopped looking because I knew that whoever I would find, they wouldn't be Jane. And I didn't want to be reminded of that every day. Of course I was only human and I couldn't help certain urges but more than casual sex was never an option. I had made my decision a long time ago. I would support Jane and be her best friend for the rest of my life, I didn't need anything else. Kate raised her eyebrows at me and a playful smirk appeared around her lips.

"Do you have something to hide, doctor Isles?" I smiled weakly and looked down at my plate. She bumped her foot to mine to get me to look up and when I did she gave me an encouraging smile.

"Hey, Maura. You can tell me if you want to, you know." I pushed my food around a little more before taking a deep breath.

"It's just a little crush on someone that's unavailable. I'll be fine." I mumbled, but I could feel hives forming immediately.

"Okay, maybe not a little crush." I added quickly. Kate grinned at me.

"Tell me." I stared at her.

"Her name is Jane." I knew she wouldn't care if it was a woman. I had dated a couple of women when I knew her and she never seemed to have a problem with it. A small smile graced my lips as soon as I spoke the name. Pictures of my stunning best friend flooded my mind.

"Okay, tell me about her." I looked at her incredulously. I sighed.

"She's a homicide detective and we work together a lot. She's from Boston-Italian descent and she has two brothers." Kate laughed.

"Yeah okay, now tell me why you love her." I blushed and tried to argue before realizing that I couldn't because the hives would immediately give me away. Therefore I just huffed.

"She's very intelligent, even though she would never say that about herself. She's…" I took a few seconds to think about Jane. "She's stubborn and hard-headed and blunt, but she's also caring and loving and protective and confident. She's funny and sweet and brave. But most of all, I love her just because. I love her because before I met her, I would have never been okay with answering a question with 'just because'. I love her because before I met her, I would have never had movie nights and drinks at the police bar downtown. She changed me into someone that was no longer scared to interact with others. She gave me a family and friends and she wouldn't even think about asking for anything in return. I love her because she's warm and safe and she's **Jane**." I was whispering at the end, my eyes dreamy and twinkling. Kate looked at me with a growing smile. I felt the familiar warm feeling spreading through my chest and it felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. It was the first time I told someone about my feelings and it was more liberating than I thought it would have been.

"Sounds like she's pretty amazing. Why is she unavailable?" And just like that, the smile fell from my face and the warm feeling in my chest was replaced by something so cold that I shivered. The weight was back and heavier than ever. I felt tears well up, but I pushed them away quickly. Casey. Even the simple mention of his name made my insides growl.

"She's engaged." I near-growled, driven by the unreasonable anger I couldn't help but feel towards Casey. "And straight." I added unnecessarily.

"Does she know?" I let out a soft, humourless laugh.

"She's my best friend." Kate looked at me with a bit of a daring look.

"So?" I shot her a glare.

"I don't want to ruin that." Kate rolled her eyes.

"So, you're scared?" I just stared at my plate.

"Remember when I came to you in that hospital? How I told you that I was scared of when he woke up, because I wasn't sure if he would even want me there since we'd only been dating for a couple of weeks?" I nodded. "you told me that if I loved him, I would stay. Because if I was laying in that bed, I would want him to be there too." I looked up at her.

"This is different." Kate shook her head.

"No it's not, Maura! You would want Jane to tell you if she had feelings for you, right?" I sighed and rolled my eyes(Jane really rubs off on me).

"Can we talk about something else?" I tried. Kate just chuckled and shook her head.

"Maura, come on. I know you're scared but we don't give in to fear!"

"Jane said that once." I said with a small smile before I could censor myself. Kate just laughed.

"You see! Your girlfriend says it, too."

"She's not my girlfriend." I said, though it didn't come out as strong as I wanted it to. I sighed and looked at Kate rather helplessly.

"But what if she doesn't want to be my friend anymore? I can't even… God, I can't even think about that. I can't live without her." I said and I felt the tears burning behind my eyes again. Kate's look softened a bit and she reached out to take my hand.

"Can you live with her only being your best friend for the rest of your life?" I looked away. I always told myself I could. I told myself that I was strong enough. But then Jane would cancel on movie night because Casey surprised her with dinner and my strength crumbled and fell. I sighed again and looked Kate in the eye.

"Why is this so complicated?" Kate just smiled softly and squeezed my hands.

"Love is always complicated, dear. But it's more than worth it, I can tell you." She winked before getting out a couple of bills to cover the check. I didn't even argue, knowing that it would be futile. We stood up and hugged and when we pulled back she just kept her hands on my shoulders and looked me in the eye.

"Just tell her, Maura. She loves you and even if she doesn't feel the same way, you guys will still be friends. You'll be okay." I just nodded and hugged her again, whispering my thanks in her ears. She smiled one last time before exiting the restaurant. I looked down at my hands and took a deep breath. Kate was right. I was going to tell her. And now was as good a time as any.

**xxxxx**

"I have not thought this through." I mumbled to myself, staring at Jane's front door. She could be in there with Casey. She probably **was **in there with Casey. What if they were… Okay not thinking about that. I took a deep breath and knocked. The door swung open to reveal a fully dressed Jane. Thank god. She looked at me with furrowed brows, but she smiled anyway.

"Maura! What are you doing here? Is something wrong?" The worry in her voice made my insides flutter. I really had no choice but to love this woman.

"No, nothing's wrong. Not yet, anyway." I mumbled, looking at the floor. Jane just looked a little confused.

"Is Casey here?" I asked, trying to look around Jane. Jane just nodded before she stepped out and closed the door behind her. I gave her a look full of gratitude for understanding what I meant and she just smiled.

"Can we… Can we take a walk?" I asked. I liked the idea of being out in the open when I told Jane. I felt hot and like there wasn't enough air and even though the feeling wouldn't go away if I was somewhere else, when we were taking a walk I would also have an excuse to not look at Jane while I told her. Jane smiled and placed her hand on my shoulder for a second.

"Of course, Maura." She said with a smile. I ignored the flutter in my stomach and just smiled back.

**xxxxxx**

"So what's up, Maur?" Jane asked me gently. We had been walking for about 5 minutes and neither of us had spoken a word. I took a deep breath and stopped walking. I closed my eyes for a second, seeing all sorts of outcomes flash in my mind though not one of them ended with Jane picking me. Tears welled up and a single one escaped my eye. I tried to hide it from Jane which obviously didn't work. Why did she have to know me so well?

"Maura! Are you okay?" Jane asked panicky. I shook my head a little while more tears followed that first one. Jane came closer and enveloped me in a hug. I sobbed in her chest.

"Ssshh… It's okay, sweetie." She whispered into my ear. I had my arms around her neck and I buried my nose as far in her neck as possible. I tried to soak up as much comfort and warmth as possible, not wanting to but still thinking that this could very well be the last hug I ever shared with her. I breathed in her scent. Lavender and just Jane. I never wanted to pull back. I would be perfectly content standing here with Jane for the rest of my life. But Jane pulled back to look at me. I stared at the ground, but Jane lifted my chin with her fingers. She smiled encouragingly at me.

"You can't marry Casey!" I blurted out. **What? **I didn't even want to say that. Jane looked at me, shock and confusion evident in her eyes.

"Why not? What are you talking about?" She asked. Her voice wasn't angry or hostile, it was simply confused. I took a deep breath before snapping my eyes up to meet hers. I wanted to say something, but her eyes cut off all my thoughts and I did the only thing I could possibly do. I leaned in and kissed her. It only lasted 3 seconds before I tried to move away quickly, but I couldn't. Because Jane had her hand around my neck and she pulled me back and covered my lips with her own. She kissed me. Jane kissed me. Before I could even decide on what I was feeling exactly, it was over. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't like she pulled away that quickly, it was just that I took a very, very long time to decide what this was. Later I would've described it as blissful, delighted, joyful, elated, ecstatic, enraptured, euphoric, exultant and jubilant. But it was nothing compared to when Jane pulled back and she looked at me with **that **look. It was like she always used to censor herself and now she could finally look at me the way she wanted to. Filled with adoration and affection and passion and **love.** I hugged her again and buried my head in her neck.

"I'm so glad that I didn't just hug you for the last time." I mumbled with my head still buried in her neck. Jane chuckled and I could feel it through my entire body.

"I will hug you for the rest of your life, if you want to." She whispered in my ear and I felt another surge of warmth and happiness . I pulled back to look into her eyes and I cupped her cheek.

"I love you." I whispered softly. Jane smiled and put her hand on top of mine.

"I love you, too" She whispered back and I put my head back on her shoulder. And I didn't think about Casey or Jane's family or my family or any of the complications because the way Jane looked at me and the way she kissed me and the way she held me couldn't possibly be faked. She loved me. And so I held onto her and thanked god for the first time in my life. **Thank you. For bringing me to Jane.**


End file.
